


First Burn

by AKAnime



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Cheating, Eliza deserved better, First Burn, Hamildrop, Hurt No Comfort, Song - Freeform, Songfic, The Reynolds Pamphlet, burn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKAnime/pseuds/AKAnime
Summary: Inspired by the new Hamildrop "First Burn"The thoughts behind the lines sung





	First Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind this is my own interpretation, LMM had his own vision and story with this song. This is just my own interpretation of it.
> 
> Also, if you have not listened to the new Hamildrop "First Burn" I highly recommend listening to it first, some lyrics are the same from the original song "Burn" but many are different.  
> Here is a link if you would like to listen to it,  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYqaUybOUqI
> 
> //I also didn't use all the lyrics, just ones I deemed I could use haha

**_I saved every letter you wrote me_ **

 

Yes, this was very true. She had stacks upon stacks of letters that Alexander had written to her. Of course, she kept more special ones that she always held in her heart in common places she went but even so. She kept them in various places, sometimes she would even choose to bring her favourite ones along with her in her pocket if she deemed she felt the need to.

 

**_I knew you were mine, you said you were mine, I thought you were mine_ **

 

The way he looked at her, the way he smiled, the way with his words always overtook her thoughts. She had thought all this was hers. She thought she was the luckiest person in the world because she thought this was all hers. But clearly, as he has gone and told the whole world that he has shared these special gifts, that were once hers and hers alone, with another woman. She knew he no longer was hers.

 

**_Do you know what Angelica said when I told her what you had done_ **

 

Her sister was not happy, to say the least. The moment word had reached Angelica of what Alexander had done, she was on the next boat to New York, explaining to her that her husband was an Icarus, who had flown too close to the sun. She was grateful to have Angelica as a sister, as she continued to comfort her and help her through all this mess.

 

**_Don’t, think you can talk your way into my arms_ **

 

Alexander had his ways with words. Hell, he never stopped writing. He knew how to win her over with just a few short sentences. She was sick of this now. No matter what he could say to her all she felt was resentment towards him. He had lost all his rights towards her, he felt another woman could replace her, so he might as well go into her arms as her own have been deemed not good enough by him

 

**_I’m re-reading your letters and watching them, Burn_ **

 

She held the letters in her hands, scanned over the pages as tears fell down her face. What Alexander has done was completely unforgivable to her. His words, all his words he had sent to her meant nothing to her now. Any word he could say to her meant nothing now. She threw them into the fireplace before she could change her mind of this.

 

**_You told the whole world how brought this girl into our bed_ **

 

This bed that was for them, and should have always been only for them. The countless nights she slept in that bed alone because Alexander would refuse to stop working. Why was it when he finally went to there shared bed it was with another woman and not her. With his way of words, he just had to do it this way. He had to explain the things he did, he had to tell the whole world of the sin he has committed, had to tell them how he had turned his back on his wife for another.

 

**_You have ruined our lives_ **

 

That was the least she could say about what he had done. He had ruined everything she felt towards him, ruined every memory spent with the other. He had ruined the way their children could go out carefree and have fun, now all of them must hide away from the pain and embarrassment of just walking the streets. Yes, he has ruined their lives and it seems he doesn’t care in the slightest. 

 

**_Your enemies whisper so you have to scream_ **

 

Why must it be that way? There is no need to bring a gun to a knife fight but even so, he does. He takes the littlest things and turn them into something so much more than it needs to be and for what? For the world to hear, well they definitely have heard what he has done now.

 

**_I know about whispers, I see how you look at my sister_ **

 

Only a fool could have been blind to seeing the looks Alexander and Angelica shared with each other. She knew there was more behind Angelica leading Alexander to her on that night. She saw the letters they wrote constantly to each other. She loved her sister greatly, but she knew her sister was keeping secrets from her. **_’m not naive, I have seen women around you_ **

 

The way she would turn her back, looking at something in a shop window. Alexander always seemed to take his chances with other women. He seemed to always be seeing if someone was better than her. She always pushes these thoughts away, only seeing his actions as ways of kindness with others. Clearly, she was wrong to turn away from these acts.

 

**_I’m erasing myself from the narrative_ **

 

Why should she keep herself there if it was only full of misery? Why should she sit and let the others watch her fall apart, her husband tearing every inch of her heart away as he thought what he was doing was okay.

 

**_Just watch it all Burn_ **

 

Just watch, the love and memories as they burn away in the fire. The fireplace that helped keep them warm as they sat together in the cold winter months. The fireplace that now was tearing way every word she once thought was hers and hers alone.

 

**_Explain to the children, the pain and embarrassment, you put their mother through_ **

 

Had he even considered their children before making the choices he did. There children, that they spent years together to raise. The children who now had to watch their mother as she fell apart as she read that cursed pamphlet. The children, who now went out to only hear the harshness their name now held.

 

**_When will you learn? That they are your legacy, we are your legacy._ **

 

This so-called Legacy that Alexander is so desperate to achieve. His legacy he feels can only be redeemed by getting his name out, well it seems he has done that. Does he even realize that what he does, and when he is gone, will be shared by his family? When will he realize he already has a legacy, that this legacy has already been achieved the second they had their first child, the second that he had even married her.

 

**_If you thought you were mine, Don’t_ **

 

There were many things she meant by this. Even if his legacy lies with her and there children, Alexander was not her legacy. Her legacy was more than that, and she would build it on her own without him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, thank you for reading!  
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
